Dream Bar Services: Last Party On Earth
Made possible through the Destineez Child Dream Bar Service, Destineez Child is ready to provide their fans personal memorial services at their chosen time of death. Destineez Child founders, April Childers and Carmen Tiffany were arrested in Denver, Colorado recently on charges of Corpse Abuse when they had discovered, to their own surprise, their friend has passed away. April and Carmen proceeded to take that friend for one last night on the town, feeling that since their friend was deceased and they were doing her a favor, they felt that THEY probably shouldn’t be paying for an evening out at the local strip clubs and Mexican restaurants, they thought their deceased friend should.
The founders of Destineez Child have since learned their lesson and have found a legal way to provide these personal memorial services to the public. In order to participate, the Destineez Child fan needs to come by and visit and have a consultation. By answering just a few questions, Dream Bar clients will disclose to Destineez Child their ultimate Last Party On Earth. Destineez Child will then schedule the client for their evening and their very own Last Party On Earth. There are NO charges to the client for these services, the only risk for the client is that we ask that he/she must hand over their personal credit card information.
Each client’s evening will be documented and posted to the public, they will receive a personal DVD commemorating their very own Last Party On Earth.
The time has come to truly take full advantage of what babies are capable of. Destineez Child would like to present an exclusive new product that is both unique and exotic. This is a high dollar item and in very limited edition. With purchase of this item, fans will have the luxury of personal assistance with everyday needs. “Drawer Babies” are capable of completing most daily tasks as they are trained. Drawer Babies lack confidence, so they are low maintenance and keep to themselves. They are your very own blank slate.
Drawer Babies will include the following complimentary items. The first item is of the utmost importance, a sleeping mask for the baby. This cloth bag simply needs to be placed over the Slave Baby's head and the baby will instantly fall asleep. This will insure the necessary rest that is required for completing daily tasks. This mask will feature a portrait of Kurt Cobain on its exterior so that onlookers will feel only apathy for your Drawer Baby.
A custom fit drawer will also accompany the Drawer Baby for transportation and housing. This drawer rolls easily around and fits almost anywhere one may need to store their Drawer Baby for short periods of time. This drawer also comes with a lining of glamorous pink carpet to make the baby feel comfortable about their latest employment. Much like walking a large dog alone at night, Drawer Baby drawers will come with authentic Destineez Child graffiti to keep muggers guessing about their safety as well as the actual worth of such an item.. Last but not least, a FREE blanket will accompany the Drawer Baby. The blanket is hand made using beautiful Canadian currency.